your parents love me but you hate me
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
