so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize