Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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