when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
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you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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