and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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