im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
