At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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