OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
