What did we do last night that was yellow?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
zippers are such a cool invention
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
