It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
