I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
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Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
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She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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