What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize