By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
