His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
