You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
