Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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