It's Friday. Sex?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
