you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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