if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
