Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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