normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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