All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
