I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
