Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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