if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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