I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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