So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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