yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just want to make out with him forever
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
