make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
