i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
