She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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