I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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