you have to choose: penises or morals?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize