If i come over, it means nothing
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
