it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
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I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
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I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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