There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
