my phone needs a breathalizer
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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