apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
