forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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