Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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