i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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