i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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