I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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