i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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