drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
