problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
