1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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