what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
