We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
