god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
that is very illegal...i love you.
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