just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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