you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
