I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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