ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
