operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
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Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
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Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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