So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
