where am i from again
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
