guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
