I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize